What It Really Means To Be Held Up By Your Community - A Letter From Our Founder
Wow. It’s taken months for me to get to a place to even be able to process and speak on the hugeness that was the first Camp Rover Conference.
I just want start by saying thank you.To the folks who bought tickets, made donations and gave their time through sponsorship. To the friends, family, peers, and cheerleaders who made it all happen through support in a million ways - wow I can’t thank you enough.
To all the new friends who stepped up and believed in this idea from day one - thank you for volunteering your precious time with us. I am still in awe that I could dream this up and you all saw it too AND showed up for it.
The gratitude and excitement I have for what this means, and what’s next - I’m not sure I have words for it yet.
But, with that, you might have noticed that I - Amanda - have been MIA and there clearly have been no posts from the conference.
Three weeks before the conference I was hit with the biggest life crisis I’ve ever had. The intensity and shock of this brought on Autistic Burnout (that I already had been fighting back) partnered with deep depression and fierce crippling anxiety. These are things I manage each day, with varying “success” but this personal event took me entirely to “the point of no return”.
I will be the first to say that I am at a place of great advantage, privilege, and strength in my mental health journey (and accessibility to care). Additionally, the level of disability I experience generally goes unnoticed by most.
With that, it often gets dismissed, diminished, and discarded (I could write about masking but that’s for another time). We’ve all experienced ableism and the “Well, you don’t seem disabled!” or “You’re the highest functioning disabled person I’ve ever met” or “Good for you for getting out there and doing all that you do - wow!”
I strongly considered canceling Camp Rover Conference. I didn’t know how I was possibly going to show up for all of you. How was I going to be strong and confident - and me - when all I could do was drink at least a glass of water a day and make sure my dogs got outside and fed? That was it.
I wasn’t sure how I was going to do it. How could I do this conference when I was so utterly on the floor, at the lowest point I’d ever been at?
If you were at Camp Rover Conference - or have been following along - you know the heart of everything we want to do is about cheering you on, showing you the real-life nature of being a creative, building and running a creative business, and the strengths and struggles of it all - no gatekeeping, only real talk about real life and real people living their truth through their craft and businesses. Bringing that all together through community; connecting you with the right people - safe, encouraging, amazing folks who want to encourage and elevate you. Who will be in your corner, have your back, and want your success to be your own! Because you’re working for it after all - and it should be celebrated! And they’re here for it, knowing your light is a light for all creatives (too woohwhoo? Nah).
I had to remember what I was trying to build on a larger scale was something I spent years building in my own life.
I’m a collector and curator in almost all areas of my life and people are no different.
This is something for me, personally, I have spent so much time and energy around. Who I give access to my person, my energy, my time, and my love - ALL very important choices I don’t take lightly. And the people that trust these things to me?! I’m always amazed at the wonderful people who choose to be my friends, my supporters, and my cheerleaders.
None of this was easy, no part of creating the community around me came without a lot of work, intention, and putting myself out there (A lot of “I think we could be friends - want to go for coffee?” IG messages with my Rejection Sensitively raging; hopeful they’d reply).
I had to become the person I wanted to be around (sounds like dating advice, I know) but in return, I have THE BEST support around me. I have an army of amazing people that I can reach out to at any time.
I am a pretty high-needs person, and once I accepted that about myself - and gave myself love and grace around that truth - I stopped trying to put all my eggs in one basket and embraced the broadness of the love and support that was being held out to me.
I reached out to all of them - ALL of my people - and they held me up. Stepped up. And were there for me.
I had friends stay the night with their kids. Countless people sent me gift cards, and flowers, dropped by with food, came over and just sat with me. Some came over for hugs on their way to something else; just to check in and show some love. Carrie - one of my oldest friends - spent an hour one night brushing my hair. My sister lent me her weighted blanket knowing how much physical touch can help with regulation (you’re not getting Peter back! Yes, I named him).
People just kept showing up. Time after time. My people carried me. Through that time, through the conference day and all the way to where I am today.
I felt such guilt around not posting, around disappearing, about the pure lack of aftercare I wanted for everyone that came out to the magical day that was Camp Rover Conference; but I just had nothing in me. My assistant had to carry the load of our other events as well and was an utter star through that time. (Hiring and trusting the right people?? That’s a whole other conversation too.)
I’m sharing this for a few reasons.
You are not alone. You might feel alone. I feel alone all the time. But in those moments I send a text. I do a check-in. I reach out. I spread it around. My friends that have capacity are there. And I try my best to show up when they need it too.
That’s the whole point of community - share and be there when you can. It’s a community, a village, an army (in my case).
So, what’s happening with Camp Rover then Amanda? Conference for 2025?
In doing this conference, the events leading up, and volunteer times together, I’ve learnt so much and have seen so many needs and amazing passions and skills of all the people that have come in and joined the flock.
For a few reasons, we’re going to focus on some smaller events and collaborations. Our goal has always been to create a safe and creative community and beautifully beneficial connections. I want everyone to feel a personal connection to someone else - at least one person - when coming to one of the Camp Rover events.
The conference was a big picture of that. And now it’s time to go a little smaller (for a while). To build the foundation a bit stronger. To build out the team a little more, and to have each event feel like a hug, a welcoming in; like home.
We want to build a stronger, safer and solid base and make sure what we bring to our flock has intention, love, and honesty behind it.
We’ve got a few things in the works, and you’re going to start seeing a lot more from the conference and community going forward.
I’m excited for what’s next and again, so so grateful for all of you!
Xo
Amanda Douglas
